Spider porn!

Spiders creep me out. Don't like 'em. Apologies to William Hazlitt, but I hate them and they should be eliminated wherever possible. They are gross even when they're having sex.

See? Nasty!
I googled "spider porn". I expected I'd find some sider-themed furries and, naturally, some porn devoted to Spiderman and definitely Spidergirl. (That's a thing, right?) I found that too;

Here's a picture of Martin Scorsese's ex-wife:

And a Spanish stock photography website with a uncomfortable number of images featuring "arañas eróticos". And of course several animes:

Both of these pictures were labeled "Earth Defense Force". The EDF appears to be some kind of insect-themed kiddie brothel.

 Click though and read this one for yourself.

And a couple "Little Miss Muffet" things. I can never tell if this sort of thing is just piss-takes or if someone's actively aroused by these images. Such is the mystery of the Internet.

Mostly, though, I found this kind of thing:

That purple thing on the right's a person, presumably a man, who's been 'captured' and is about to be used as a sex object/eaten by the sexy spider-woman. This is an entirely

too

popular

 

 theme

in Internet porn. I've seen porn where people have extra legs or whatever, but this spider-woman thing seems a bit too common, you know? It's never spider-men, I might add; it's always spider ladies about to eat something.

I assume someone's getting eaten here at some point.

Have you heard of vore? Voraraephiles are people who are in to vore and that means they have persistent fantasies about being swallowed whole or in part before, during or after some no-doubt depraved sex act. So that's what we've got here. Images for people who get off to the thought of being eaten by a lady-spider. I've found written erotica too; one was about how the beautiful spider-woman bit off the dude's head after she was done with him.

It's not always the man getting eaten, though. Sometimes the spider eats a lady. Never a spider-man. Just a spider.

Anyway all that's pretty F'ed but none of it really prepared me for

.
I made the image small so you'd have to click through and see it in full size like I had to. Look at it. Look at it right in the eye. Look at it's nasty pube-hair covered head! Look at it's gross mouth as it sucks a dick! Why is the head human-skin-colored? Is this supposed to be some kind of horrible human-spider hybrid? Look at it's gross mouth again because I'm pretty sure IT'S WEARING LIPSTICK! The spider has lips!? Why does a spider need lips?
No, no. NO! This is all wrong...