Tuesday, December 14, 2010

Russian butt ladies!

Today I got a spam email, the subject of which was "Big penis like a girl!" and a link to a webpage called "trotclap.ru", which sounds filthy. I  got another identically worded message pointing to "zipsack.ru". Nasty.
Actually, I get a lot of funny spams out of Russia. EnlargePenis.Hi writes, "It's just cool! Have a cool penis!". Thank you, I will. Another promises me a "Big Penis For 3 Months!". Only three? 3NiceEnlarge.Penis tells me "big-penis-is-like-an-expensive-car". Makes sense I guess; you can lease a car, why not a bigger penis?
I bring this up because it is funny. Now, this:
 According to the Internet, this woman and her unusual pose have started a trend among Russian Internet ladies. She posted this photo on some social networking site and it caught on. Is it her big butt? Is it her hair bump? Her Giant Eyes? No-one knows, but it's caught on.

Mostly these people have no idea how to use a camera properly. These are terrible photos.
Some of them are pretty good, to be fair. This woman clearly put some thought into framing the picture, and it shows. Interesting lighting too. Would've taken the mirror out of the shot, though. I don't know why I'm critiquing this like it's a work of art / in some circles it definitely could be.
This one looks like she's wearing a pants-hat, haha. That's a pretty decent-looking camera and yet the photo is still grainy and out-of-focus. Not the good kind of grainy and out-of-focus either. If you are going to own a nice camera you should learn how to use it. Otherwise, buy a crappy point-and-shoot like the rest of the hoi-polloi.
The two are a bachelorette party made flesh. Relaxed sexuality, cheap decorative doodads and unadvisable decisions.
This one's my favorite. (Look at the painting. Did she paint that? What's going on there?)

No, this one is my favorite. What's that kid thinking? Will this inflict some kind of strange fetish on him later in life? (Yes.) What did that lady tell him was going on? "Come khelp* mommy take picturegraph for the Yinternet, Nikolai. We are goink to get you new daddy!" I don't really think all Russians talk all silly-like but it sure is funnier if they do.
Looking back at it, I think this is a way for the boob-challenged woman to display cleavage online.  If you're not comfortable with your boobs the ass is the next roundest part of a person. These women might actually be on to something.

*That's [xεɫp] for the IPA inclined.

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