Cock and beans!

For reasons known only to my basal ganglia, I thought I'd Google "cock and beans" and see what came out. Mostly, recipes for cock (you know, rooster—boy chickens) and beans (you know, beans). Thankfully, one brave weirdo's out there to save us from boredom.
This video is called "cock and bean burrito masturbate".
And that is exactly what you will see. You all know how much I like a straightforward title.
There are a few things that make this video noteworthy. Here they are:

• At about 0:10 the guy whips about a tortilla with a little piece torn out so he can fit it around his cock. This guy has clearly done this before. And he's got it down to a science.
• He uses a spoon to carefully spread refried beans over every square millimeter of his penis. A spoon? What, is he afraid of getting his hands dirty?

And let's not overlook the fact that the dude's using a burrito like a fleshlight. I've had some damn fine burritos in my day, but I've never wanted to fuck one, even in my most desperate state of teenaged horniness. Of course, I like a really spicy burrito, and no-one likes hot chilies on their dic—er, ah, never mind.