Nipples!

Here is a website called OnlyNipples.com. OK, doesn't that sound like the kind of website Ed Gein would visit? There's something unsettling about a website that focuses so intensely on nipples; I'm not sure exactly what. There's also a paysite I found called JustNips.com, which boasts having "many women in various stages of pregnancy on the site" because "Amazing things happen to nipples & boobs as the body prepares for child-birth". Hm.

OnlyNipples.com is mostly close-ups of nips.

Redo this in black in white with a little bit better lighting and you've made an Art. **

I think it's all too Freudian for me. It's hard not to think that a man who is so, so, so obsessed with nipples is one who nursed a little too long into his childhood. Or not long enough. It definitely has to do with breastfeeding though. Ladies: if you do nurse do it for exactly the right amount of time.

I'm not saying all boobs need to look like pornstar boobs but there are some funky tatas on JustNips.com.

Am I looking at this the wrong way? After all, nipples are an erogenous zone, and they are atop boobs and men do like boobs. Isn't it only natural that some men like to look at nipples a little more than others, just like some men are ass men or leg men? "It's not that weird," you protest. How naïve.
Keep in mind, I formulated my Freudian theory even before I looked further down the page, where I found this: http://www.onlynipples.com/milking-puffy-nipples
And I quote:

"I’m so in love with lactating puffy nipples. I know you guys love all the nubile tit shots I throw up here but seriously if you don’t have a LACTATION FETISH get one. The sweet lady in this movie clip massages her motherly boobs until the release and drip their precious milk…

 [A video of a lady using a breast pump to milk herself.]

Damn that’s a good video. Each time I see it I think of her puffy nipples as HERSHEY KISSES drizzled with vanilla icing. So full, firm, productive! It would be a thrill to have her brush them across my face and chest."

OK! If I can just draw your attention to the adjective phrase I've highlighted in red there. Sometimes it almost seems like I know what I'm talking about here.

Why does this lady look like she just smelled something bad?

Not a lot of man-nipple sites, I might add. There are sites devoted to nipple torture (and for women too), or sometimes you'll see a video with "nipple play" in the title. There is nothing, though, quite like OnlyNipples.com: no site that just has pictures of dudenips. I know there are men (and women) who are into them, but so far nothing, which is weird. The gays especially are usually on top of this sort of thing. We fucking love propagating needlessly weird shit on the Internet for our own self-gratification (Meta humor!).

To see you out, check out this article from SFGate.com: Koko the Gorilla has a Nipple Fetish.





** I did a Google image search to see if there were any similar sculptures I could find to make a more pretentious joke there. I didn't find any but I did find this:

It's called "Abraham and Isaac" and it's by George Segal and it took me 12 minutes to realize the guy standing (Abe) was holding a knife. I look at too much porn. Or George Segal looks at too little. Or he's fucking with people.