Sunday, November 20, 2011

Vaginal classification!

I was going to do a post on pussy pumps, but it'll have to wait because I've found something far more interesting.
Aside from having the most singularly unattractive "hot" chicks I've ever seen in their header, (The one on the left who looks like she smelled something awful. Or perhaps she's upset about her terrible boob job?) wetandpuffy.com also has a convenient pussy classification system. As a gay male I'm really excited to see this, because I seriously know next to nothing about the vagina. Let's get started!


We've got three kinds of vaginas: puffy peaches,

big tacos,

and juicy cherries.

Here are W & P dot C's description of these types:
 The most common kind of pussy is what we call the Big Taco. With her outer and inner labia about equal in size, the meaty lips of these lovely ladies resembles a nice big taco begging to be devoured! Softer and larger than other varieties of pussy, the taco tends to be a little less wet but perfect for pushing your face in to savor the flavor and very durable for long fuck sessions. If you want to fuck a girl all weekend long without any soreness we recommend the big taco pussy for your continued pleasure long after other sluts might become tired.

 Hm OK. When I think "vagina" this is pretty much I imagine. These are the most boring vaginas, basically, so W&P likes to dress them up.
A festive Christmas centerpiece!

The Puffy Peach is the perfect pussy for clothed cameltoe entertainment. Large soft outer labia completely engulf the smaller labia inside and provide you with a squeezable set of lips that swell considerably with firm pressure applied to both sides. Packed inside her panties a Puffy Peach girl can really show off the swollen lips of her pussy and get a lot of attention at the beach or while wearing any kind of stretchy material. The Puffy Peach also is the best looking pussy for short fuzzy hairs which allow it to trap more of the musky scent that many enjoy.

It looks like a moldy pita bread.
 Is this attractive? I kind of get it. I mean, I guess you could day my parts get puffy when I'm aroused, but it seems like puffy giners are more often the product of mediƦval looking devices than human arousal.


Ouch.
A Juicy Cherry is a very sweet pussy that has its inner lips protruding from the outer labia like a pair of cherry stems waiting to be sucked. These are very special pussies because they are rare and often require some effort by a slut to help stretch her snatch into the right shape with vaginal jewelry, weights, finger play or other sexual toys capable of helping her soft moist skin to stretch and become sensually elongated. The length allows her juices to collect and that's why a Cherry twat becomes so juicy and tasty when you lick it!



 Ewww! They look like old roast beef.

Well if I weren't gay yet some of the other weird crap they've got on this site will do the trick.

I think it was Family Guy: there was a gag where a gay dude looks as a vagina and says "Ew! It looks like a sad old man." Which is funny because it looks like a sad old man.

Look closely: braces!

A lot of women have told me that penises look weird. Well, you know what ladies? You need to get over yourselves. Every-one's parts look super weird and if I didn't feel so damn good no one would ever do it because we'd get too sidetracked laughing at each-others' parts.

Thursday, November 17, 2011

Oh dammit, I forgot to post something last week didn't I? Having a real job suck, everyone. Well, I promise you a real post before the weekend is out; meanwhile, here's a couple videos of some boys fucking chairs.

Gay Tube
Gay Tube

And here's a video of a guy cumming on a chair.

Gay Tube

Monday, November 7, 2011

Woah.

Oops! Looks like I forgot to post anything last week. Here's a video of a duck getting an erection*.

Slowed down by a factor of 10! Whoo nature's weird. And here's some weird dildo you can buy from a shady Chinese company on the Internet:
Humans are weird too.


P.S. The same company makes this little chef-shaped vibrator
who looks as puzzled as I am when I look at him.

*Actually, it's called an eversion. This blog is Ed-u-cation-al.