Thursday, March 3, 2011

Anomie!

One of my New Year's resolutions was to update this blog more regularly. Oops. Well, for real this time, 2011, I'll try to keep to a weekly schedule. Won't say what day though, gotta keep some of the mystery.

The reason I went on a two-month hiatus, essentially, isn't laziness, but boredom. Porn is boring. Even the weird stuff I post here: it bores me to tears. Once you've seen one extreme ball torture enthusiast you've seen them all, as the saying goes.
Well, nothing really shocks or surprises me anymore. Oh, this lady likes to get triple penetrated. Oh, this one likes hot chillies shoved up her nose when she fucks. Oh, here's a man who likes to have his penis encased in ice...
Ho-hum. Carve yourself an ice vagina with a chainsaw and fuck it, then maybe I'll say something about it. This is weird, but it sure is a boring picture. Certainly not as interesting or extreme as "ice hole fetishist" might initially look.

Basically what I'm saying is I've been drifting listlessly around the 'net looking for something to pique my interest what would make a decent post. I've got some OK ideas...
I may be bored but I will soldier on, for you, my one reader. I had to explain what a gimp suit was to my friend the other day. That's like, Unusual Porn 101, so clearly there's a need for an educator of my caliber.

Whatever. I haven't found anything stellar yet, but here's some stuff:

I really hate this hairdo on girls. It looks like she's wearing a mushroom helmet.

From Wikipedia: "Black velvet paintings originate in ancient Kashmir, the homeland of the fabric. These original paintings were generally religious and portrayed the icons of the Caucasus region which were painted by Russian Orthodox priests."
 When I'm rich, I'm commissioning this artist to decorate my kitchen.

 Did you hear that Pope Benedict XVI recently exonerated the Jews for Jesus' death? It seems like there's some kind of joke I can make about that here.

Well, there's nothing sexier than a broad who knows how to "do the laundry", yeah? She probably spent a minute contorting herself into this pose, placing her boobs just so. Jesus...

 Real women don't need to pose. They just stand there, still as a statue, and smirk as their sexuality washes over you.

You laugh, but if a photographer asked me to make a face like a sexy little unicorn that's exactly the face I'd end up making. This man knows the business.

 This one, meanwhile... He's got a good build, and if he weren't Greco-Roman wrestling a guitar I'd be more turned on.

That's it. I think a couple month's rest did me some good. Now I'm fresh and ready to get back to insulting strangers' sex lives.